I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
