coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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