we're blogging at a bar
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
