My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So much rum. So many feels.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
