If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
