piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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