he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
