are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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