You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
