I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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