I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
