and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
