watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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