I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
