He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
