hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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