After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
