Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
