You work out of a Hotel?
North Korea, Best Korea!
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
