I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
