He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just found puke in my bra..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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