saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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