i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
