It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
