You made me cry and you don't even care
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
