no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
