they need to just BURY HIM!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
