You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
