Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
