He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize