Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
