i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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