but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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