she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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