Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
