How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
