She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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