the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
