i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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