dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Randomize
