Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
youre lurking in front of me
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
