dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
