you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize
