everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
