oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
