last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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