Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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