I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
where am i from again
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
