Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I need to calm my uterus...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
