we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
